OMG I thought I would give the good old dating apps another try. Please if someone with any sense can let me know why do I keep bothering thinking I will get a different result I would love to hear from you!!!
I think many of you (men and women) out there can relate to the latest round of dating disasters.
This is unfortunately what I found yet again.
First of all, so you understand what my situation is like now, my two kids are pretty much gone and I am definitely not one of those helicopter mums who carries on about them not being here and feeling like I have to reinvent myself, I already have a full life including my kids but have lots of other things that go on in my life. However, when you spend every single night either watching Netflix or going out alone (well not alone with gfs but not a partner) it gets a bit old, especially for us extrovert types, we like a bit of time alone but then we start to miss someone to talk to. Love my girlfriends but they can’t really do what I want……
During Easter where a lot of us have time off work and go away, I had no plans apart from having lunch on the Friday with my friend I decided that night I would try another dating app.
We move onto the first date I had on the Saturday night, we arranged to meet at a local hotel for a drink and if you can picture this place was on a corner and had windows all facing out towards the road. I naturally waited inside at a table, I am afterall a big girl who can walk into a pub alone. I see this bloke walking back and forth and I was silently laughing to myself thinking I bet this is my date, I wasn’t about to leave my seat to grab his attention. He finally texts me and I let him know I am inside, sure enough it’s this same guy I saw walking back and forth, back and forth, (what an idiot), why didn’t he just come inside too!! Anyway, initially I thought he was OK but certainly not an instant spark, I tell this guy that I have plans to learn Italian and live there for a few months in the future, he’s Italian background and he says ‘oh well when we get married we can go and stay with Uncle so and so’……..first tick off the list, I ask why his marriage broke up ‘oh well I missed going out with my mates’……second tick off the list, thirdly, he almost choked on his chardonnay when I told him I’d been to my first gay wedding, third and final tick…..a homophobe, misogamist, desperado. NEXT …..
The second date I met this guy for coffee and initially again I thought he was OK but again no initial spark. He certainly seemed a lot more intense, serious but open minded. He was a widower, so no ex wifes to worry about coming back onto the scene. However, this guy still communicated and ‘spoke’ with his dead wife.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not someone who doesn’t believe in the spirit world so I was quite interested in all this conversation. However it wasn’t until afterwards that I thought you know what I don’t want him discussing me with the dead wife. He also tried to plant a big sloppy kiss on me when we left and I wasn’t feeling it. So as a result he became another NEXT…….
Number three, yes I met four of them so it’s almost done…..Again I thought this guy was a nice enough guy, he was very open and told me lots of stories about himself, including the fact that he’d only just recently broken up with a woman. I was concerned about this initially as I thought is he ready to just move onto another relationship, his last relationship had lasted about six months. Anyway, I did sit with him a couple of hours and thought yes he’s worth a second date. These days I just sit back and wait for them to do the work, I have learnt my lesson trying to see a man I really liked only to be let down time and time again and then to find out all along he’s married (that is a blog for another time)…..getting off track here……I will finish off number three after I tell you about number four.
Number four, I arranged to meet him on the Friday night, I met number three on the Wednesday. I wanted to meet number four as I felt that he could of been a better match for me. WAS I WRONG!!! this guy was a complete lunatic, he couldn’t sit still, kept looking over his shoulder, he would ask me a question and wouldn’t wait for answers, he made everything a joke, I thought to myself no wonder this guy is single he’s crazy. I tell you that was an hour of my life I will never get back…….
Now we come back to number three, he was very keen to catch up with me again, messaging me Thursday and Friday. On the Saturday morning I got my hair done and decided to message him to see if he wanted to meet for a coffee. He was keen to meet again, we sit down and he starts talking and telling stories again about him!! Finally he starts asking me more about my life. I do admit that even before I met this guy I was concerned he might have an issue with drinking. He tells me that he had lost his drivers licence not that long ago, he wouldn’t divulge exactly for how long but I read between the lines and realised it was for at least 12 months, this was my first tick of no. Secondly and this was the real clincher for me, I already thought he was too needy after wanting to find someone so quick after the most recent relationship. He started telling me about how one night his ex pulled the ‘race card’ on him, you see we were talking about racism and he made a comment to this woman about n_ _ _ _ _ _ s, his excuse is that he must of had a few too many wines. To make matters even worse her ex husband is African. I just couldn’t believe that someone in this day and age would think that someone wouldn’t have a problem with that. I told him point blank, ‘well just so you know I would of pulled you up on it too’. So this my friends was my last date for a while and just as the title of my blog ‘never heard from him again’.
On the Sunday morning, I thought I would have one last look on this app before deactivating and some guy came through who goes advertising himself that he’s looking for a relatioship. What a joke he started off asking OK questions, then eventually it’s ‘are you a good kisser, ‘do I wear lingerie’, ‘do I like to shower together’, ‘do I wear pj’s, because I don’t LOL’. OMG what an absolute TOSSER as a result of these questions only one solution can be reached DEACTIVATE.
So again I am off the whole thing and have now decided to have a go at learning golf, I had a lesson this morning and let me tell you GUY CITY, who knows maybe amongst the golf playing men there might be at least one decent single guy who wants to live a normal life. I am not just going to try and learn to meet a man it’s for me too, I think it is good exercise, a new challenge for me and social. The dating apps in all seriousness are soul destroying. I am so over everyone telling me that I try too hard and it will happen and to write down what I want, I have done all that stuff. I stay off the sites for months and then go back on as I don’t meet anyone in my day to day life, it’s really really hard. I would love to hear from all of your with your similar stories.
Until next time, happy dating, have fun. Thanks for reading tell your friends.
J xxxx
Never Heard From Him Again 